If you had told me last Christmas when we were enjoying our first Christmas as mummy and Daddy with little 3 month old Aoibhin, that the following Christmas I would be heavily pregnant I don't think I would have believed it. But yet here we are with a 17 month old and a one month old!. I always wanted a small gap between children, and sometimes things just happen when they want to at the right time. Aoibhin was 9months when we found out we were expecting again. Even saying that now sounds crazy- 9months!
I remember reading lots of other mummies writing about how they were worried they wouldn't love their second born as much or they woudn't have enough love to go around. That was never really a concern for me. The thing that worried me and upset me was thinking how could I share my time and that Aoibhin would lose out on mummy time and feel pushed aside. I just felt guilty- guilty that I wasn't giving Aoibhin more time as an only child, more time for us to devote to just her. Knowing that soon she wouldn't be the only one that needed me and my attention. So much so that I often cried about it. I couldn't even bear to think about leaving Aoibhin to go to the hospital and I imagined lots of tears- turns out I didn't even get to see her before I left as it all happened so much earlier than expected. Which was probably a good thing because I didn't have time to dwell on it and work myself up.
I remember someone saying to me that going from One to two was so much harder than going from none to one. And they were right. So so right. Is it Hard? Yes it absolutely is. Just like the second pregnancy is different from the first ( no day time naps or watching Netflix and putting your swollen feet up second time round) the arrival of second baby is so different. Maybe not with an older child, but definitely in our case with a 16 month old who is into everything. I was worried about not giving Aoibhin enough time but it hadn't really crossed my mind that Cathal would lose out on mummy time. The reality is, just like babies, toddlers are demanding. So, unlike with Aoibhin who I nursed and cuddled all day long ; you just dont have that luxury second time around, which means cathal spends more time in his moses than I would like. And there's the guilt for that. Whichever way you look at it you feel guilty. But that's Mummy Guilt for you. We are always too hard on ourselves.
Posing with bump at 34 weeks- little did we know he would be here a week later!
So what is 2 under 2 really like then? . Well its double the work- double nappy changes ( who knew newborns needed so many nappy changes!), double the washing, double the exhaustion, double the amount of things to be packed just to leave the house, and double the amount of time to get things done..We are still adjusting, hell some days I don't get a shower, other days I survive on chocolate as my main source of nutrition..Is it worth it? Yes and so much more. Two little people to kiss, to cuddle and to watch grow and form a bond. Nothing can really prepare you for it. It's hard, it is a big adjustment but nothing worth having comes easy. Knowing that they will grow up so close and being able to watch their bond is worth every sleepless night, every run between bedrooms going from one crying baby to the other- because they are both still babies, my babies. Nothing can prepare you for the love you will feel.
I'm already considering number 3- I mean how much harder can it get??
I remember reading lots of other mummies writing about how they were worried they wouldn't love their second born as much or they woudn't have enough love to go around. That was never really a concern for me. The thing that worried me and upset me was thinking how could I share my time and that Aoibhin would lose out on mummy time and feel pushed aside. I just felt guilty- guilty that I wasn't giving Aoibhin more time as an only child, more time for us to devote to just her. Knowing that soon she wouldn't be the only one that needed me and my attention. So much so that I often cried about it. I couldn't even bear to think about leaving Aoibhin to go to the hospital and I imagined lots of tears- turns out I didn't even get to see her before I left as it all happened so much earlier than expected. Which was probably a good thing because I didn't have time to dwell on it and work myself up.
I remember someone saying to me that going from One to two was so much harder than going from none to one. And they were right. So so right. Is it Hard? Yes it absolutely is. Just like the second pregnancy is different from the first ( no day time naps or watching Netflix and putting your swollen feet up second time round) the arrival of second baby is so different. Maybe not with an older child, but definitely in our case with a 16 month old who is into everything. I was worried about not giving Aoibhin enough time but it hadn't really crossed my mind that Cathal would lose out on mummy time. The reality is, just like babies, toddlers are demanding. So, unlike with Aoibhin who I nursed and cuddled all day long ; you just dont have that luxury second time around, which means cathal spends more time in his moses than I would like. And there's the guilt for that. Whichever way you look at it you feel guilty. But that's Mummy Guilt for you. We are always too hard on ourselves.
Posing with bump at 34 weeks- little did we know he would be here a week later!
So what is 2 under 2 really like then? . Well its double the work- double nappy changes ( who knew newborns needed so many nappy changes!), double the washing, double the exhaustion, double the amount of things to be packed just to leave the house, and double the amount of time to get things done..We are still adjusting, hell some days I don't get a shower, other days I survive on chocolate as my main source of nutrition..Is it worth it? Yes and so much more. Two little people to kiss, to cuddle and to watch grow and form a bond. Nothing can really prepare you for it. It's hard, it is a big adjustment but nothing worth having comes easy. Knowing that they will grow up so close and being able to watch their bond is worth every sleepless night, every run between bedrooms going from one crying baby to the other- because they are both still babies, my babies. Nothing can prepare you for the love you will feel.
I'm already considering number 3- I mean how much harder can it get??
