Life with 2 under 2 3 months into our journey

So the wee man is now 3months old, 3 months we have been on the crazy journey with 2 under 2. For a while there, I felt like it was getting easier- or more that I was adapting and settling into our new routine. Then there were a few bad days- as in resisting naps, leading to a lot of whinging- late bedtimes as a result and a very sleep deprived mummy. Once you have a few bad days its easy to fall into a bit of a despair about it all and for me, that's when it really starts to go bad. That's when you sit crying wondering how the hell you can keep doing it. Its no secret that I do this whole motherhood gig alone Monday to Friday (I moan about it often enough on Instagram) so on the bad days, when you know that there is no one coming through the door to help with bedtime or to make dinner or let you just go to the bedroom and hide relax for 30 minutes then its hard to remain upbeat and positive about it all. Hard to remind yourself that there are mummies who would do anything to be in your position....because in those moments when you are so tired and frustrated its hard to have perspective.

I promised that I would be positive and embrace each day and generally I believe I do, and it does make all the difference to your mindset. You just have to spin the situation around- Aoibhin wont nap-grand we'll go for a walk, The days are long- head out to the park or the library. Just get out. That's the secret I think- getting out of the house. The days we go to the park or shop help break up the monotony of every day. The packing and unpacking of the car all by yourself is not fun however!.

A typical day for me is like any other mummies, get up, get them dressed, fed and entertained. My day and nights blend into one. Nobody relieves me. My days usually start (ha now that's funny) around 5 with the first feed (not counting the 1am feed as I count that as a night time feed) and then that's me up- Little miss wakes up any time between 6-7:30 and that's where the real fun begins. I get her dressed first thing rather than stay in pjs as god knows when ill get the chance to dress her, get her breakfast and plonk her down with the kindle (yep I'm that parent) all the while little man is usually crying which breaks my heart but I have no choice but to just ignore him. I'll run grab him, plonk down on the sofa feed him, he has a wee snooze on me, Aoibhin plays for a bit then demands care bears by throwing the remote at my face. Some mornings we go for a walk, but it all has to be organised around feed times too. Then Nap time- the biggest battle off the day and the part I dread the most. Aoibhin still naps in her pram, so its a case or rocking her in it, most days she fights it and over an hour later I'm getting frustrated and shes playing up, meanwhile cathal is usually crying. Somedays I feel like joining him. It's just a constant battle. Then theres lunch time, get that organised, prep dinner ready for later, the usual household chores too. Bedtime is another battle. its usually 9 before she settles down. Cathal will only sleep in my arms, once you put him down he wakes up so he won't get to sleep until she's in bed. Basically my day can be summed up like a relay race-constantly running from one post to another only there's no other runners to pass the baton to. When I say to people I don't get a minute I genuinely mean it. I don't write these things for sympathy, just as a way of venting because I'm on my own and I need someone to hear me., to listen to me when I say that no one will ever understand how hard it is on your own. I have been doing this since Aoibhin was born. I'm used to it but it doesn't get any easier. I know all mummies are the same- you never get any time either. Most days I am riddled with guilt- that I  shout at Aoibhin for being noisy if I have managed o get Cathal asleep, guilt that I'm not playing with her, guilt that Cathal is left to cry so I can tend to his big sister, Guilt that there are a million and one things to do around the house, Guilt that I lie down and rest when they do rather than do something- anything more productive.  Guilt that somedays I don't enjoy my maternity leave because it's just such hard work. Just constant Guilt.

Basically what I was trying to say, before I went on a big moany rant, was that the days can be hard but I'm trying my best to face each day with a positive approach and embrace it, because all too soon they'll be a distant memory...and I'll long to have one more minute with them both at this age. Sure if some days weren't so hard you wouldn't appreciate the good ones even more, right?

Is it exhausting? Yes unbelievably so.

Are they worth it? A million times over.

Life Lately

As I write this post I am eating toast in bed (sorry Neil aka crumb police) with a sleeping 3 month old in my arms who I have attempted to put into his moses twice now but he immediately starfishes and wakes up ....who knew trying to write a post would be difficult with 2 babies...

I thought I would stick up a quick post of what we got up to over the Easter holidays. Nothing groundbreaking but a few family days together, A few spins out and the wee mans christening, which was all very last minute organisation wise( second child syndrome)- with Aoibhíns Christening I had weeks to leisurely plan the details from the table settings, to the pink pom poms and centrepieces- poor Cathals' was threw together the night before. Apart from the cake. Arguably the most important bit. It was ordered weeks before..and as usual I overestimated the size I needed. Ah well more for me. It was lovely to have a few extra days with Neil home and it felt lovely celebrating Cathals' day as a family of four. Family photos aren't so easy now with an energetic toddler. It feels a bit surreal to think that not so long ago was Aoibhíns christening.

It has been a lovely few days, just doing little else but eating chocolate and spending time together- but sure those are the best days. Even though its Tuesday I have a serious case of the 'Monday Blues' with Neil away back. Family get togethers can be very stressful can't they?  especially with little babies as everybody wants to hold them and if there is one thing I'm adamant about its that the baby wont be passed around constantly- not when they are trying to sleep as well,  otherwise then I spend the day refereeing who has them and who hasn't had a chance. It's too stressful so it's strictly mummy and Daddy only once photos are done . Anybody else feel that way too or just me?. I thoroughly enjoy the planning and preparation but I tend to find the event itself stressful and I'm almost relieved when its over. Doesn't help that I'm generally an anxious person and overthinker about everything. Still it was a lovely day, Cathal looked beautiful in his very last minute online outfit order, and Neil managed to help me squeeze into my dress- and it was a squeeze believe me. and there was cake.

So that's what we got up to over the break, I'm going to attempt to post more often but with these two it could be tomorrow or next week so until then here's a few photos of our weekend.