Thursday 28 January 2016

Mummy Guilt




So today got me thinking about Mummy guilt- well because this morning was our baby sensory class and I woke up and I was just exhausted, my back was killing me and I just wasnt feeling it today. So I decided that today would be the day we would miss our baby class...cue the Mummy guilt. Was I just being lazy? Was my back really that sore? Could I just suck it up and go?. Answers to all three were Yes but no we didn't go. Because sometimes you just need a 'day off'. .and cue the messages to family of 'should I just go', to reassure me that I was making the right choice. Yet still now hours later, I feel guilty. Is she missing out because of me, Am I doing enough-do we play enough games, do enough fun activities.. My daughter is not even five months yet but the raging mummy guilt is in full swing. Even when I sit down for a (quick) cup of tea I feel guilty-that I should be making use of that time.

I'm guessing too that this will only be the start of it and as she grows older this 'Mummy guilt' will rear its head again and again. I'm sure it will be unavoidable but yet at the same time I don't like this feeling and therefore I'm going to try and manage it. First and most importantly what I need to ask myself is 'Is it worth feeling guilty over?'..although I feel bad at present, really she doesn't care nor is she any the wiser that we didn't go to class-she is happy as larry here beside me rolling on the sofa with her toys so no I don't think I should feel guilty. It's important to look after me too-there's not much point me traipsing along to a class when I'm just not in the form. That wouldn't be productive for anyone: so we shall enjoy a cosy day together at home-god knows I'll long for them when I return to work.

Next-I just need to learn to let some things go-somethings just aren't worth the unnecessary guilt trip-feeling guilty that you didn't get enough 'play time' in today just means you have been busy raising and keeping a home. Everything can quickly become something to feel guilty about..couldn't breastfeed/wanting a night away/too much/too little tummy time...its the joys of motherhood I guess, but its important to remember that you are doing your best at everything and feeling guilty means you really care about your little bundle of joy.

So I guess what I'm really trying to say is that it's ok to feel guilty sometimes-it's what us mummy's do but don't let it overshadow the fact that you are doing a great job, as long as your little one is happy,loved and healthy then you have achieved all that any mummy really wants. The rest doesn't matter. Embrace the guilt, learn from it,make changes if you feel the need and move on.



*Image from Pinterest*

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Wednesday 27 January 2016

20 weeks in 20 weeks out

These past 20 weeks have absolutely flown in, We cant imagine you not being here. Your smile and little personality just warm our hearts and we really do love you to the moon and back. I can not believe you are 20 weeks old already-you have changed so much from your little newborn days.
I remember going for our 20 week anatomy scan and we both knew we were going to find out your sex-I knew from the moment I found out we were pregnant that you were a girl-I just knew, call it mummy's intuition. I even dreamt I had a daughter in those early months, but really all that mattered was that you were healthy and growing as you should be. Secretly I wanted a little girl but had you been a boy it wouldn't have made an ounce of difference to how much we love and adore you. Our scan was very detailed and we loved every second of watching you squirm about-I caught a glimpse of your bits and knew even before the sonagrapher said you were a girl that you were a girl, but as soon as she said it I cried and your daddy did too. It was an amazing moment and we will forever remember.  You have been such a sweet, content and happy little baby and we have been truly blessed.

We cat wait to see what the net 20 weeks will bring as you grow and develop your little personality. You really are Daddy's Girl and Mummy's World.




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Sunday 24 January 2016

Baby Book Club



I love reading and it is one of the things that I want our daughter to love too-there's nothing like reading a good book to let your imagination go wild. I spent many a happy hour when I was younger reading The Magic Faraway Tree and believing that it did exist. Books let you escape and become entangled in another world and also are great for educational purposes for improving vocabulary...but really I just want her to love reading like her mummy.

We have a little corner of her nursery set up with a cubed shelve full of her books-you can spot a few Enid Blyton in there. She has lots more books but we plan on putting some shelves up to showcase them all. I cant wait to finish the nursery and have a little book reading corner with my Granny's old cosy armchair too. 

Books really are the best presents to gift, and were one of the main presents I asked family to get her for Christmas. I cant wait to see what kind of books she will love as she gets older-I wonder will she love Mallory Towers as much as I did?. Every night before bed we read a book to her and i love that time just before bed. As she is getting older and more aware she pays more attention to the colours and illustrations and loves when mummy puts on silly voices. 

The books don't have to be expensive or even very detailed books-and the likes of BM  and Pound stores are great for cheap and cheerful books-I cant resist buying a few more every time I am in. She is soon going to have her own little library...secretly I love to read them too. It's probably the closest I have got to reading in a long time!



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Tuesday 19 January 2016

Things that change when you become a mummy





Having a baby changes you..probably in ways you never thought possible. Of course your life will change with the new arrival-finances wont be the same nor will your sleep pattern but I'm talking about the ways motherhood will change you-as a person.

You will love your baby to the moon and back and you will become amazingly protective. I am like a mother bear looking out for her cub.My daughter is my priority and I will say/do anything to put her needs first. Don't like it or are offended ? Tough-don't mess with mumma bear.

You will sacrifice everything for your new arrival-and they wont even feel like sacrifices anymore.

You will wonder what you did with your spare time pre baby and amaze yourself at how much you can now achieve in a day with a baby.

You will live in the same clothes for weeks and you will wave goodbye to spending your own money on yourself. Boots has taken a dive in profits since I have been pregnant and become a mummy.

You will swell with pride at each baby burp that you have been tirelessly trying to get for 20 minutes.

As much as you appreciated your parents before and what they have done for you-you will find an even deeper appreciation.

Your relationship with your own mother changes.

You will miss sleep but yet those morning smiles will more than make up for it.

You will walk around like Superwoman the weeks after giving birth.Women are amazing,

If you can get through Labour-you can get through anything.

You think about someone else all the time. Always.

Your childs' needs are the most important thing to you.

You will become more confident and assertive. In yourself and with your body.

Your heart will explode with love everyday.

You will be more empathetic to others.

Every story about a child will make you think of your own and will cause you to hug them a little bit closer.

You will feel like you belong to a secret 'mummy club' and will exchange knowing smiles with other mummies.

You realise that the most important things in life really are free.

You will have the best job in the world.

You wouldn't change a thing.


**these apply to me so don't worry if you don't swell with pride at each burp**
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Sunday 17 January 2016

Sensory Playtime

Even though my daughter is just 18weeks old we have included sensory time in her daily routine since she was just a newborn. I think it is so important to interact with your little one-from the moment she was born I was chatting and singing to her, as all other mummies do too, and I really believe that is why she is such an alert baby. Even at a few days old she was so alert and everybody always commented on how alert she was for such a young baby. She was noseying all around her at a few days old. I remember every time the heath visitor would come she would always say you could tell that she was a well stimulated baby and I would sit there proud as punch.

Sensory play is so important for a baby's development-mental, intellectual and physical-it allows them to develop so many skills and become aware of their senses. Stimulating babies helps them to become more aware of their surroundings and helps aid their social and cognitive abilities and it is so easy to do. It's not about expensive sensory toys-its just the little things you can do yourself at home. It's great for bonding and I probably love it as much as she does.

Singing and Talking are the easiest two things to do-and not just baby talk-actually having a conversation-even if it is one sided, really helps to stimulate babies and aids their language capabilities as they grow older. I love to read so from she was only a few days old I would read nursery books to her. Animated story telling is great for babies to allow them to distinguish between different sounds. As she has got older she now stares at the pages in the books and seems enthralled by the colours. Books are super cheap-you don't need to buy expensive ones-bargain stores and charity shops are a great place to buy some-or even the library.

We have a playmat with lots of hanging colourful toys which she loves and will lie and grab at the toys and coo and ahh to them. She loves lights so we have plenty of those-Bm Bargains is great for cheap and cheerful lights-stick off the lights and put on the toy and there you have sensory time. Cheap glowsticks are great for this too-but obviously I would be apprehensive about letting her near them. We have a mixture of different light feature toys-some play nursery sounds as well, and they double up as great ways to send her off to sleep too.

Different fabrics are great to allow her to develop her sense of touch-cosy soft blankets and soft fluffy Teddy's, as well as other everyday items such as bubblewrap which she can lie on and pop away as she rolls about. You can also use scarves-silk, woolen-any kind of fabric really. Stuff you have around the house!,

Noisy toys are great-rattles and all those sensory type of toys are great-again they are cheap but if you wanted you could  make your own-just fill a plastic bottle with items such as pasta, sweets, rice, buttons-just ensure you have the lid really really secure and never leave the baby with it if you aren't 100% that you have secured it well enough. There are so many things you can do with items in your house-just look around and use your imagination.

Baby Massage is a great sensory activity as it incorporates sense of touch and smell and awareness of their little bodies. We do massage at every bath time and she loves it-I wish someone would massage me every day!.  We also bought one of those Bubble blowing machines and blow the bubbles which she loves to watch-make your own with water and fairy liquid! .I.m excited for all the things we can do as she gets older-playing with paint, water, ball pits and making play dough.

Sensory play does not have to cost you a penny-just use what you have around the house, your little one will love it!.
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Wednesday 13 January 2016

Babys' First Christmas

It already feels like Christmas was a lifetime ago and so before it's completely forgotten about I decided to write a little post on Baby's First Christmas and what we got up too. With her only being just over 3 months at the time she obviously was really none the wiser but still we wanted to make our first Christmas as a family of three special,.There are so many traditions we want to start, but as we literally just moved into our new home the Sunday before Christmas I didn't get to do it all or have the time to do things exactly how I would have liked. Still it was a wonderful Christmas and makes us extremely excited for all the Christmases to come!.

Every year we have a real tree and an artificial one-I love real trees-the smells, the look and feel of it but the hubby likes the artificial trees. It's just what we have both grew up with and are used to-and so we have one of each which works well as I get to decorate my own-classic and simple. One tradition we have started is adding ornaments to the tree for our little girl-this first year was the classic 'Babys first Christmas' ornament which we bought at the Christmas market-each year we will add another and let her choose them herself-so god knows what my classic tree will end up looking like-maybe we will let her put them on Daddys tree!. We also made up her own Christmas Eve box-I had one made from a company called 'The Festive Studio' engraved with her name, and filled it with her Christmas card, a few christmassy books including The Night Before Christmas, The Snowman and Scrooge. I also put in her new Christmas pyjamas, a Santa key, Reindeer food, her handmade plate for Santa's Treats and a little cuddly elf toy. Over the years as she gets older I'll add more things-like a Christmas movie, Christmas music and sweets for her. I had wanted to make one for me and daddy too but I jut didn't have the time-although we did wear our new Christmas pyjamas. Christmas Eve for me is just for the three of us so we stay home with no visitors. I think its important to have that time together with my own little family.

Of course, there were plenty of Christmas outfits to wear-her sing along Christmas jumper, flashing reindeer tshirt, gingerbread leggings, her little pudding suit-she looked adorable in them all! Looking forward to next years!. The three of us wore our Christmas jumpers and I made it into our Christmas cards with Little Christmas frames I found in a book store. I think this will be our favourite tradition-seeing how hey change from year to year!.

Christmas was busy with lots of visitors so we made sure to have a good portion of Christmas Day for ourselves-we opened her presents in the morning-we didn't go mad as she is only little and that was one thing I stressed to family too-plenty of books was on the wanted list. She received toys from mummy and daddy but I really don't want her being overly spoilt so we felt it was bet to let family know there were limits to what they were allowed to buy. She has her own little library now and lots of lovely toys including a gorgeous rocking horse. We had lots of visitors, but we tried to make sure we had a bit of time to ourselves as next year I will be working Christmas again-which is horrible to think of, but that was why we didn't want visitors every day as not only was it out first Christmas as a family of three but my first Christmas off work in 15 years! Thank god for maternity! New years Eve was a quiet affair, just the three of us and at midnight we came down to her sleeping and just raised a glass o us all and to what a great year 2015 had been for us.

We look forward to all the Christmas's to come and to continuing with all our traditions and watching them grow over the years.




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Thursday 7 January 2016

Those First Few Months with a Newborn

You have just had your beautiful baby and you have spent the past few days in a haze not quite believing that this tiny gorgeous creature is yours and you made her...those early newborn days are bliss as you stare in wonder at your baby..but they are also really tough . Especially if like me you are a first time mummy and had not a clue what to expect. That being said my little bundle of joy is the sweetest, most placid and easily contented baby-aside from bad reflux and a touch of colic she has always been easily settled. Still the early days are tough-the sleep deprivation and the hormones swirling through your body can make for dark days when you question everything and anything....add in a difficult labour and issues with breastfeeding you might just be wishing you could fast forward. I am by no means an expert, this is my first baby after all, but here is what helped see me through those newborn days.

ACCEPT HELP

I ended up with an emergency section and ended up on four back to back rounds of antibiotics, plus I was sore and so I basically confined myself to bed with her in the moses beside me-people helped me out-washing, dinners, minding her so I could go to the doctors. It's ok to accept help- however as soon as I was able to be up and about after about two weeks I wanted to be on my own with her- that was my choice-if you want help for longer and it is offered-take it! It does not make you any less of  a mother. Accept what help you want and politely decline the rest.

PLAYING CATCH UP WITH SLEEP

In those early days you will most likely get by on adrenaline, new mummy hormones and autopilot. this will not last forever, Babies wake up several times at night-this is a given. You will be exhausted. Fact...and you will question how you ever complained of being exhausted before baby, Nobody knows exhaustion like a new mummy in those early days I am a nurse and well used to working long 13hour days-god I have even had to work 24 hours at several points (I wish I were joking about that) but nothing come close to the exhaustion you feel in those first weeks...so you have to figure out how and when to sleep. If you have a partner take it in turns on night shift-take it a night about or work out some schedule where one does the middle of night feed and the other sleeps until the early morning feed. Unless you have a baby that sleeps through the night from the beginning-seriously enjoy it!. My husband works away Monday to Friday in another country so I had to manage all week myself-and I probably averaged 1-3 hours a night due to her bad reflux and having to keep her upright for up to an hour after feeds-come Friday night daddy took over so I could get a few extra hours. People always say Sleep when baby sleeps-this proved difficult for me as she slept in my arms.,,and I loved it, Maybe it was foolish but she wouldn't settle in her basket in the day and if she was to have any kind of good sleep it would be in my arms, But a nap every now and then does wonders.

KEEP TRACK OF FEEDING

This was really necessary for us, especially as we introduced medication for the reflux-it enabled me at a quick glace to see when she had her last bottle and when she was due her medication again-it was useful for keeping track of her daily intake for health visitor and allowed me to keep track if there was a change/decrease in her intake. If your wee one suffers from constipation it is also handy to look at  quick glance when they last went.

OCCUPY YOURSELF DURING THOSE LATE NIGHT/MIDDLE OF NIGHT/EARLY MORNING FEEDS

As I was on my own Sunday nights to Thursday nights I was always worried about falling asleep whilst holding her, especially again as I had to keep her upright for up to an hour after feeds (her reflux was quite bad) so find something to keep your mind ticking over-for me it was instagram-there is such a lovely community of new first time mummys on there-and those late night threads on all baby related topics are seriously a wealth of information. If instagrams not your thing then try reading on a kindle or even online shopping-we all know its good for body and soul-and if you have to be up at four in the morning you might as well enjoy it.

GO EASY ON EACH OTHER

A newborn is a testing time for a couple, so be patient with each other-say sorry and know that those moments when your husband rolls over to sleep as you hold the baby, that you really really do love him and do not want to kill him. I think its also important to still remember that although there are three of you now-it was just the two of you for a long time-what we would do was watch a bit of telly together once baby was asleep in the evening and maybe some food-nothing exciting but it allows you time as a couple. Or go out for a meal if you want- I just wanted to be at home with our baby in those first few months.

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF

You have just been through a life changing event-whether you had a vaginal birth or a c section-let yourself recover-enjoy a long bath. Go easy on your post partum body-have that bar of chocolate-and give yourself a clap on the back while you are at it.

DO A QUICK CLEAN UP AT THE END OF THE DAY

By this I do not mean spring clean the house from top to bottom-for me it meant cleaning, sterilising and having all the baby powder and bottles organised for the next day and having my Living area tidy. The last thing I wanted was to sit in an untidy room-it just looks cluttered and not good for your mind either. A quick whizz around when baby is down for the night.

HAVE SOME FORM OF ROUTINE

By this I don't mean feed, bathe or settle your baby to sleep at set times-although if that's what you want to do then go for it. I'm more in favour of letting a baby dictate their needs and wants in those first few months-routine can come later. What I mean is have some form of structure to your day-it can be long and lonely just sitting between feeds so I liked having a bit of routine in that we would get up, have a bottle and every day we would go for a walk and incorporate some sensory play time-these weren't always at the same time every day but it meant I knew that I had something to do every day even if it was a walk to the shop for milk.

IT'S YOUR BABY

Don't let other people dictate to you how to look after your baby- you make the decisions and you alone. Listen to other advice if you want, but do what you want. Believe in your instincts and your own capabilities as a mother. If you sense baby needs to sleep whilst a doting family member is 'overstimulating' them say so and lift your baby form their arms-if you feel baby is hungry even if they fed an hour ago-feed them. Do what feels right to you. It is your baby. And on the same note don't let anyone tell you you can spoil a baby-a baby can not be spoilt with love and affection-its a big change from a cosy womb to the outside world so cuddle that baby all you want  and let them know the are still as close to mummy as ever.

and after all that just remember these days will pass-and they will pass quickly. Those newborn days are gone in a flash and once they are your little newborn, sleepy, Innocent little baby is no more-so even in the midst of the never ending sleepless nights remember that and embrace it and savour every second because you will miss them more than you ever thought possible.
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Friday 1 January 2016

Happy New Year

Happy New Year ! Hard to believe another year has passed...and what a year! 2015 was the year I became a mummy and discovered a love so deep that I could never have imagined. Our beautiful daughter has enriched our lives beyond measure- she truly is the best thing to ever happen to us and we cant wait to watch her grow and learn in 2016.  Becoming a mummy has been the hardest but most amazing and rewarding job ever, and I will strive every day to try my best to be the best mummy possible.

I'm not one for really making new years resolutions as I think if you want to change or improve yourself you can do it any time of  year, but I do get the whole 'new year fresh start' thing. There are a few things I want to work on this year though-I want to become healthier and slimmer-more so I feel good about myself but also so that when its time for baby number 2 that I am the healthiest I can be. I also want to be more assertive particularly as a mummy-not in a bad way but I just want to make sure I feel respected as a mother and not feel bad for speaking up when I see someone say or do something that doesn't sit right with my way of parenting my child. Other than that I just want to raise our daughter to be kind and tolerant and loved always.

I'm starting off 2016 with my beautiful family in our beautiful new home and I am so looking forward to what 2016 will bring..but for today I'll be curled up on the sofa enjoying good food and relaxing with my family raising a glass to 2015 and a wonderful baby's first Christmas,


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