You have just had your beautiful baby and you have spent the past few days in a haze not quite believing that this tiny gorgeous creature is yours and you made her...those early newborn days are bliss as you stare in wonder at your baby..but they are also really tough . Especially if like me you are a first time mummy and had not a clue what to expect. That being said my little bundle of joy is the sweetest, most placid and easily contented baby-aside from bad reflux and a touch of colic she has always been easily settled. Still the early days are tough-the sleep deprivation and the hormones swirling through your body can make for dark days when you question everything and anything....add in a difficult labour and issues with breastfeeding you might just be wishing you could fast forward. I am by no means an expert, this is my first baby after all, but here is what helped see me through those newborn days.
ACCEPT HELP
I ended up with an emergency section and ended up on four back to back rounds of antibiotics, plus I was sore and so I basically confined myself to bed with her in the moses beside me-people helped me out-washing, dinners, minding her so I could go to the doctors. It's ok to accept help- however as soon as I was able to be up and about after about two weeks I wanted to be on my own with her- that was my choice-if you want help for longer and it is offered-take it! It does not make you any less of a mother. Accept what help you want and politely decline the rest.
PLAYING CATCH UP WITH SLEEP
In those early days you will most likely get by on adrenaline, new mummy hormones and autopilot. this will not last forever, Babies wake up several times at night-this is a given. You will be exhausted. Fact...and you will question how you ever complained of being exhausted before baby, Nobody knows exhaustion like a new mummy in those early days I am a nurse and well used to working long 13hour days-god I have even had to work 24 hours at several points (I wish I were joking about that) but nothing come close to the exhaustion you feel in those first weeks...so you have to figure out how and when to sleep. If you have a partner take it in turns on night shift-take it a night about or work out some schedule where one does the middle of night feed and the other sleeps until the early morning feed. Unless you have a baby that sleeps through the night from the beginning-seriously enjoy it!. My husband works away Monday to Friday in another country so I had to manage all week myself-and I probably averaged 1-3 hours a night due to her bad reflux and having to keep her upright for up to an hour after feeds-come Friday night daddy took over so I could get a few extra hours. People always say Sleep when baby sleeps-this proved difficult for me as she slept in my arms.,,and I loved it, Maybe it was foolish but she wouldn't settle in her basket in the day and if she was to have any kind of good sleep it would be in my arms, But a nap every now and then does wonders.
KEEP TRACK OF FEEDING
This was really necessary for us, especially as we introduced medication for the reflux-it enabled me at a quick glace to see when she had her last bottle and when she was due her medication again-it was useful for keeping track of her daily intake for health visitor and allowed me to keep track if there was a change/decrease in her intake. If your wee one suffers from constipation it is also handy to look at quick glance when they last went.
OCCUPY YOURSELF DURING THOSE LATE NIGHT/MIDDLE OF NIGHT/EARLY MORNING FEEDS
As I was on my own Sunday nights to Thursday nights I was always worried about falling asleep whilst holding her, especially again as I had to keep her upright for up to an hour after feeds (her reflux was quite bad) so find something to keep your mind ticking over-for me it was instagram-there is such a lovely community of new first time mummys on there-and those late night threads on all baby related topics are seriously a wealth of information. If instagrams not your thing then try reading on a kindle or even online shopping-we all know its good for body and soul-and if you have to be up at four in the morning you might as well enjoy it.
GO EASY ON EACH OTHER
A newborn is a testing time for a couple, so be patient with each other-say sorry and know that those moments when your husband rolls over to sleep as you hold the baby, that you really really do love him and do not want to kill him. I think its also important to still remember that although there are three of you now-it was just the two of you for a long time-what we would do was watch a bit of telly together once baby was asleep in the evening and maybe some food-nothing exciting but it allows you time as a couple. Or go out for a meal if you want- I just wanted to be at home with our baby in those first few months.
LOOK AFTER YOURSELF
You have just been through a life changing event-whether you had a vaginal birth or a c section-let yourself recover-enjoy a long bath. Go easy on your post partum body-have that bar of chocolate-and give yourself a clap on the back while you are at it.
DO A QUICK CLEAN UP AT THE END OF THE DAY
By this I do not mean spring clean the house from top to bottom-for me it meant cleaning, sterilising and having all the baby powder and bottles organised for the next day and having my Living area tidy. The last thing I wanted was to sit in an untidy room-it just looks cluttered and not good for your mind either. A quick whizz around when baby is down for the night.
HAVE SOME FORM OF ROUTINE
By this I don't mean feed, bathe or settle your baby to sleep at set times-although if that's what you want to do then go for it. I'm more in favour of letting a baby dictate their needs and wants in those first few months-routine can come later. What I mean is have some form of structure to your day-it can be long and lonely just sitting between feeds so I liked having a bit of routine in that we would get up, have a bottle and every day we would go for a walk and incorporate some sensory play time-these weren't always at the same time every day but it meant I knew that I had something to do every day even if it was a walk to the shop for milk.
IT'S YOUR BABY
Don't let other people dictate to you how to look after your baby- you make the decisions and you alone. Listen to other advice if you want, but do what you want. Believe in your instincts and your own capabilities as a mother. If you sense baby needs to sleep whilst a doting family member is 'overstimulating' them say so and lift your baby form their arms-if you feel baby is hungry even if they fed an hour ago-feed them. Do what feels right to you. It is your baby. And on the same note don't let anyone tell you you can spoil a baby-a baby can not be spoilt with love and affection-its a big change from a cosy womb to the outside world so cuddle that baby all you want and let them know the are still as close to mummy as ever.
and after all that just remember these days will pass-and they will pass quickly. Those newborn days are gone in a flash and once they are your little newborn, sleepy, Innocent little baby is no more-so even in the midst of the never ending sleepless nights remember that and embrace it and savour every second because you will miss them more than you ever thought possible.
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