So this week marks my second week back at work after my maternity leave. The end of what has been the most amazing nine months of our lives. I feel so blessed that I could take that time to devote every single minute to loving and watching our daughter grow. They are nine months that I will never forget-the adventures, the cuddles, the baby classes, the sheer exhaustion but most of all the sheer joy and happiness. I feel like they have gone in the blink of an eye.
For a good few months before my return to work I was dreading the thought of going back and it seemed to hover over me like a ticking clock-every week that passed I mentally ticked off in my head 'another week over and closer to work'. I had really bad anxiety about it, the thought of leaving her with anyone else, the thought of her smiling and giggling without me and the thought of her having a 'first time' without me there to see it. I just didn't want to be apart from her and at times it made me feel sick and nauseous if the thought of leaving her came into my head....Towards the last month and a half though I decided not to even think about it and just enjoy the last of my maternity leave-and it was the best thing I did. I crammed so much into those last few months- every morning I packed up the car and myself and Aoibhín headed off on a daily adventure-even on the days we didn't venture too far, we still had a great day. Every weekend we had precious family time with daddy. I really think I crammed more into those last few months than the beginning of my leave. So I kept busy- and I didn't think of work; and before I knew it it was upon me. ...and you know what? It hasn't been that bad....because realistically I want to work, I need to work and I have found it so much easier than I thought I would. I didn't even cry-maybe because I kept myself so busy. Do I miss her whilst I'm at work? Absolutely, and I literally rush home to be with her again. It means that the time I do have off with her is even more special and I am determined to squeeze as many memories into those days as I can.
Those nine months were the most amazing months ever and I loved it all-okay maybe there were a few times when I wasn't so much loving it, but you get the jist. Watching Aoibhín grow and change over these past nine months has been such a privilege. She has blossomed from my tiny little baby to a beautiful, boisterous, energetic, pleasant little girl with her own little personality.
So,now I am a full time working mummy- a mummy first and a nurse second. Whether you are a stay at home mummy or a mummy that goes back to work we are all still 'mummies' and no matter what else, being a mummy is the main job-a a hard one, but one with the most rewards. For any mummies returning to work after maternity try not to let it dictate the last of your leave-enjoy the time you have remaining before you return, plan nice things to do for when you do go back so you have special events to look forward to. But most of all don't be too hard on yourself, your baby will still welcome you home with the biggest smile and it will melt your heart.
The many selfies we shared over the nine months.
Cramming memories into the last few months-walks in the park, enjoying the sunshine and just loving our time together.
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