In the Eye of the Beholder

Motherhood is a tough gig, we all , as women, I think are just designed to always be hard on ourselves. To always doubt ourselves, judge ourselves and generally just be harsh on ourselves. Are we doing enough? Are we present enough, shout too much, patient enough...I mean the list goes on and on. As if that wasn't enough we then criticise every inch of our bodies- constantly putting ourselves down for our 'mummy tummies' or mourning the body we once knew and loved. That's an awful lot of negativity and pressure we put on ourselves. There's always another mummy we compare ourselves too and think 'If only I was as slim/pretty/well dressed as her...'. We really are our own worst enemy.

I've met some lovely mummies since I began this crazy journey and over the course of our friendships we all have shared the things we dislike about ourselves -things that we try to disguise, or distract attention from. Things that make us feel vulnerable and inadequate. We all have insecurities.
This past week, I was fortunate to meet some of the mummies I have become friends with, and afterwards it really got me thinking about how we all perceive ourselves. What is that old saying...Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder?...well it couldn't be more true. People don't see you the way you have perceived yourself in your mind. They don't see the areas or the features you dislike so immensely. What I see, and what I saw this week, were pretty smiles, a gentle manner, funny and witty personalities, interesting people with kind, genuine hearts. Such pretty and kind women, who really are too harsh on themselves. It really made me realise that the warped view we hold of ourselves is so far from other peoples perceptions of us.

It's so easy to fall into the trap of putting yourself down and highlighting what you think are your worst bits when in reality they have probably gone entirely unnoticed by others. It's time we were all more confident, more proud, more empowered. People remember you for how you make them feel, not for how you looked. Maybe we should all go a little easier on ourselves and embrace and celebrate the things we love about ourselves. Whether that's a compassionate nature, a warm smile, the ability to put someone else at ease or make someone laugh- those are the things we should be embracing. All the rest is just superficial really, and things that can be worked on if you really want to. But be proud of you. Those are some of the things I particularly want to instill in my daughter as she grows up - that she is so much more than just a pretty face, that she has so much more to offer the world. I don't want her to ever feel like her worth is based on how other people perceive her, especially not based on looks alone.

So embrace everything about you- even what you consider to be your flaws- because they could just be the very thing that somebody finds endearing about you.