I don't know about everyone else but I love reading birth stories so I though I would share mine! When I was pregnant I would spend forever on the internet googling birth stories even took it as far as watching birth videos on youtube-but they didn't scare or terrify me instead I just cried reading and watching them-The moments the mothers described holding their baby for the first time just had me in tears and I could not wait to experience that special moment. Yes I knew it would be painful and yes I was nervous but I was also so excited to meet our beautiful little girl. You spend all those months waiting to see their little face and imagining whos' features they have, who they will look like and what kind of little button nose they will have that the excitement overshadows the rest.
As a first time mummy of course I was apprehensive about giving birth but I felt that I could cope as I believe I have a high pain threshold and I still think I manage well with pain after it all. Over the course of the pregnancy I developed gestational diabetes so I had to endure the glucose tolerance test twice so I was well used to being poked and prodded - because of the GD and the baby measuring bigger I was given a date for induction-at First I was disappointed and upset as I really wanted to experience the natural 'waters breaking' and all the excitement that comes with that of racing around the house frantically to get up to the hospital-but after a while I realised it didn't matter and it probably was for the best as my husband works away so actually having a definite date meant he would be home. So that was a relief. My date for induction was Monday 7th September (my due date was 17th) and of course I googled inductions and read horror stories-but I put on my positive pants and said whatever will be will be. The only thing I knew was most likely a certainty was my labour experience would be longer as inductions- particularly for first time mums tend to be.So here goes with the actual hard bit....grab a cup of tea it's a long one..
On the Monday we headed to the hospital-the drive down was surreal-the next time we would be in the car with a baby! I was so relaxed heading down as I made sure the weekend had been just me and husband relaxing with no visitors . We headed in to the labour ward (eventually found it after walking in to post natal ward and being told 'No you have a bump you definitely don't belong here') and were brought through to the induction bay-The midwife came and spoke to us and explained the process and then it began-the first step is inserting the pessary to help dilate the cervix. Honestly this was the worst part of the whole labour for me-It was agony maybe because I hadn't really anticipated it being as painful or maybe because the lady across from me had just had it inserted and I didn't hear a peep out of her.....well I was in for a shock-I suppose to explain what its' like is that it is basically a 'tampon' that you need to place up at the cervix. However, apparently my cervix was so far back and because I was in so much pain ( I was desperately looking at my husband screaming 'I cant do this while shouting profanities at the midwife to stop) that she had to stop and so wasn't sure if it was in far enough to work effectively. After the pessary was in I was free to walk about-having to come back every hour or so to be strapped up to monitors to keep an eye on baby. Nothing much really happened for me on the Monday-I was told I woudn't be checked again until the following morning when I would be brought over to the delivery room. So Monday day was spent walking and bouncing on the ball-I experienced some mild back aches but nothing else. I was so terrified of the pessary falling out and having to get it reinserted that I was moving around at the speed of a little old lady. So Monday came and went and hubby was sent home until the Tuesday Morning where I was moved over to the delivery room.
I was talked through what was to come and then because I had been so distressed with the examination the previous day a doctor came to examine me and break my waters-anticipating that this would be as painful if not more so than the insertion of the pessary I opted for gas&air-I was so disappointed to find I was only 1cm but it was better than 0cm I suppose!. The doctor then broke my waters-this was uncomfortable and at one point I felt like she was cutting me with whatever instrument they use to break your waters-probably because I was only 1cm so it was more difficult to get in there!. my waters came gushing out-it is the strangest feeling but also quite weirdly enjoyable-the fluid literally kept coming-I had to strip off my nightie and the bedsheets twice as it just kept coming and coming!. After the waters being broke my midwife took her morning break so when she came back after 10:30am they started the hormone drip which they gradually keep increasing- this increases the intensity and timing of contractions. For the first few hours I was content breathing my way through the contractions and bouncing on my ball-walking about wasn't really an option as baby and I had to be continuously monitored so those straps combined with all the venflons made it difficult to manoeuvre-After about four hours I moved to gas and air which really really helped with the contractions which were definitely increasing in intensity at this stage. I was still able to go on my phone and chat freely with the Midwife and my husband. By about 6pm the contractions were getting really strong and I opted to move on to Remifentanil which is a morphine based drug which is administered by a cannula and you control the administration of it yourself (it's a patient controlled analgesia) It is short acting so I would hit the button every time I felt a contraction coming and it would ease it a little-you have to hit it right on time though otherwise it wont help!. My urine also started showing traces of ketones so I was hooked up to fluids. I literally had cannulas everywhere. After another hour or so (around 7pm roughly-it's so hard to remember exact times) I hadn't passed urine in a few hours so I was catheterised-this was one thing I hadn't wanted(as well as c section but more on that in a bit) but it had to be done-I remember begging with them to take it out though as it was hurting so bad and they tried to convince me to leave it in but after a while having passed urine (I presume I did anyway) they took it out for me. I knew at the time if I needed a csection it would have to be reinserted but it was so painful I wanted it out-it just didn't feel right (and I was right as it caused issues for me later) By this stage the contractions were pretty intense and people were coming and giong out of the room-different midwives and doctors and anesthetists- you really lose track of who is there and to be honest you don't care. I was stripped to my nursing bra and couldn't give a fiddlers who saw me.you really do leave your dignity at the door. By around 10pm I was examined and I was 10cm! So from 11am to 10pm I had fully dilated-I was so happy at that moment I remember joking and saying 'More importantly does she have any hair?- my husbands hair is so thick&dark that I was expecting the baby to have a full head of curly black hair! I remember the consultant who had examined me said to the midwife that 'we could start pushing in an hour' and I practically screamed at her why I couldn't start pushing now!.
After that it all kind of blurs into one big memory-I just remember the pain intensified tenfold-and I was pushing and pushing-my back was in agony so I couldn't lie on my back and I just remember babbling to the midwife and the doctor who was now there that I had always had a sore back all my life(I'm sure they weren't in the slightest bit interested)-so I positioned myself on all fours on the bed. Everything is a blur-I remember being so thirsty and asking for water and then promptly projectile vomiting it into everyones' faces...people came and went out of the room enquiring what stage I was at-greeted of course by my big bare ass in their faces as I clung to the head of the bed...not a pretty sight I can assure you all!. The pain at this stage was excruciating and really and truly the only way to escape it was to push through the pain-honestly the pain disappears for those few moments when you push!
After pushing for nearly two hours Consultants and surgeons came in and decided that I would go to theatre-now a Csection was something I absolutely did not want; I even had in my birth plan I really didn't want it-but by that stage I knew it was heading that way although I continued to push and push in the hope she would make an appearance! Theatre was busy so I had to wait until after 1am to be brought down so all I could do was push through the contractions until theatre became available. My lovely ted stockings were finally put on and I was wheeled down to theatre, by this stage my hair was stuck to my head as I had sweated buckets whilst pushing. Hubby was brought down to gown up whilst I was brought in and more venflons inserted and the epidural given-I remember the theatre phone ringing and someone answering it and complaining that they were still here as another one had came in-even in my drugged state I thought 'How rude!'. Once I was all prepped and lay down hubby was brought in and of course at that minute we both started crying-they tried forceps first in the hope of avoiding a csection and the Surgeon kept saying he thought he could get her out with the forceps but couldn't in the end so they started to work on me and all I could feel was soooo much tugging and pulling-I felt like they were rummaging around up in my chest! Our beautiful daughter came into the world at 02:19am screaming her wee lungs out literally felt like seconds after they had started working on me. Hubby got to hold her after she had been checked over and I just remember stroking her little cheek and staring at her-my entire body was shaking so much at this point and I felt so nauseous. Hubby was brought back to our room while they fixed me back up-this bit seemed to take for ever and my mouth was sooo dry I could not even speak-my tongue was actually sticking to the roof of my mouth..Finally I was brought back to our room to see our beautiful daughter...nd to get a drink..I really really needed a drink of water!
My birth didn't go the way I had wanted and I still feel disappointed and cheated that I couldn't give birth vaginally and feel her little head come out but I try not to dwell on it-I did what I had to do to bring her into the world and she is here safe and well and that is the most important thing to me. If I have another baby I would really love to avoid a csection but if it came down to it I would at least be prepared for what it entails!. I loved my actual labour and the contractions and amazed myself at how well I coped. It is amazing what a woman can do, my husband had so much admiration for me at seeing what I went through and I'm pretty darn proud of myself too!. At the end of the day whether you give birth vaginally, planned section, emergency Csection or instrumental delivery-you have still given birth to your child and it is the most beautiful thing in the world. Your life changes in an instant and my heart is overwhelmed with love for my beautiful daughter and my husband. You really do forget about the pain, although when people ask and I tell them I enjoyed it they look at me like I'm crazy!.
I would do it all over again tomorrow !
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